A mother, first and foremost...

So, biologically everyone has one. And I think it’s fair to say that no two are alike. Aside from the fact that they are expected to raise perfectly angelic kids, and never fall behind on laundry. And if, God forbid, they happen to break the mold of stay-at-home-mom and get a job (making ¾’s of their male counterparts) then they become the “working mom”.  The working mom? Are you telling me that once I have children all I have to look forward to is being a mother? Not a lawyer, or professor, or whatever it is I choose to be? Guess I should follow suit of the Disney Princess and wait around for Prince Charming to support me? I have never heard of a “working dad” before, how come fathers aren’t defined by their role as a parent in the same way mothers are?

In The Beauty Myth, Naomi Wolf talks about women’s magazines as a powerful agent for defining and changing women’s roles in society. The way that women with children are first and foremost a mother is an idea we can thank societal constructions for. And what better way to confirm these constructions than Working Mother

Not only can you read about celebrity moms (they know best, right?) and write your own “Mom Blog”, but you can also read “Real Mom Stories”.  I understand that the intention of this online publication is to create a community for working mothers, and that is important, but…wait for the double sides sword…every step forward is a couple steps back. This publication only further confirms that these women are mothers first. Now, I am not saying that being a mother is not an important role, but I am saying that it is not the only role a women has.  A man is defined by his career. He is a lawyer, or a professor, or a doctor.  A women defined by her children. And if she has none? Well something must be wrong with her than. 

Progress is being made. It is not unheard of for a women to have children and a career, something that not long ago would be unattainable. But, why does a successful women still need to be defined by her children, in a way that no man is?